Am I the only one not interested in the total eclipse happening today? I understand that the last one occurred in 1979. While all y’all are out looking at the sun and going blind, I am going to write about groovy stuff (not the eclipse) that happened in the year 1979.

The top grossing movie of the year was Kramer vs. Kramer. I remember that movie making me sad. I much preferred the happy Over the Edge movie which debuted the young Matt Dillon and featured devil children torturing a small town. Another top grossing movie of 1979 was The Jerk which starred Steve Martin. All I remember from that is “The new phone book is here!” and “I was born a poor black child.” Funny.

The number one song of 1979 was The Knack’s My Sharona. I never liked that song and continue to change channels whenever it comes on. Another hit from that year was Da Ya Think I’m Sexy by Rod Stewart. No, I do not think you’re sexy. I think I am sexy. Leif Garrett scored his only kind of sort of hit with I Was Made for Dancin’. Peaches & Herb had Reunited and Shake Your Groove Thing. My favorite line, which I’ve been known to just blurt out Tourette Syndrome-like, is “We’re bumping booties, Having us a ball y’all”.

Favorite songs from 1979

• I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
• My Life by Billy Joe
• The Devil Went Down to Georgia by The Charlie Daniels Band
• (Our Love) Don’t Throw It All Away by Andy Gibb
• I Was Made for Lovin’ You by KISS
• September by Earth, Wind, & Fire
• Somewhere in the Night by Barry Manilow

Things That Happened in 1979

• Michael Jackson released his breakthrough album “Off the Wall”.
• Six year old Etan Patz was kidnapped and became the “Boy on the Milk Carton”.
• Rick Mears won his first Indy 500. I remember watching this with my grandpa.
• The Pittsburgh Pirates won the World Series. I remember watching that and rooting for them. I liked the whole “We Are Family” thing they had going on.
• McDonald’s introduced the Happy Meal. I am now happily obese. Thanks, McDonald’s.
• Brooke Shields did her sexy, “Nothing comes between me and my Calvins.”

Top TV Shows from 1979

• Happy Day
• Little House on the Prairie
• Saturday Night Live
• Charlie’s Angels
• Three’s Company
• Dallas
• Diff’rent Strokes
• Mork and Mindy
• Taxi
• The Dukes of Hazzard
• One Day at a Time

Other Cool 1979 Stuff

Future stars born that year:  Tatyana Ali, Aaiyah, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Benji & Joel Madden, Chris Klein, Adam Levin, Heath Ledger, Keshia Knight Pulliam, Claire Danes, Daniel Johns, Lance Bass, Jesse Bradford, Pete Wentz, Kevin Hart, Pink, Sara Bareilles, Rider Strong, Adam Brody, Chris Daughtry, and Ariana Richards.

Deaths of cool people from 1979: Donny Hathaway, Sid Vicious, John Wayne, Ted Cassidy, Minnie Riperton, and Vivian Vance.

Sex Symbols:  Catherine Bach, Valerite Bertinelli, Lynda Carter, Farrah Fawcett, Cheryl Ladd, Olivia Newton John, Victoria Principal, Brooke Shields, and Suzanne Somers.

Foxy Guys: Leif Garrett, Erik Estrada, Scott Baio, Willie Aames, Andy Gibb, Jimmy McNichol, Parker Stevenson, Shaun Cassidy, Bay City Rollers, Clark Brandon, KISS, Greg Evigan, Dirk Benedict, and Richard Hatch.

And there you have it.  The Total Eclipse of My Butt.