Hello everyone! Welcome to my very special Brady world. I’m reviewing ALL of The Brady Bunch episodes which is so very wonderful and special. I hope you come by often to check out my newest review. I try to post a Brady review once or twice a month. You are about to read my critique of episode number four. This episode is entitled “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” and features the wonderfully funny Ann B. Davis. This episode originally aired on October 17, 1969. Hey! That was exactly 20 years before the big San Francisco earthquake which I was a part of. I don’t like when freeways and bridges collapse. Anyway, this episode is basically about Alice not feeling needed anymore.
The show opens with Alice cleaning the lovely orange kitchen table. Bobby runs in screaming about how he ripped himself. This is not to be confused with how he was often ripped later in life. Carol comes in wearing the ugliest dress known to man, but at least it matched the kitchen counters. Carol feels bad because Bobby wants Alice to fix his boo boo. Alice makes him go see Carol instead who fixes his knee in the fake bathroom. Thindy and Jan are watching. As Alice walks by, Thindy thays “Come on in and watch him bleed!”
Alice starts sending the boys to Carol, their new step-mommy, so that she can feel needed and important. After a while, the boys stop coming to Alice all together because they like the new attention they’re getting from momma Carol. Some of the exciting events which unfold in this episode:
- Mike needs Alice to sew on a button but she sends him Carol’s way. Why can’t Mike do it? Alice is the housekeeper, not the slave.
- Greg and Peter are fighting in the fake backyard about a glove. Alice sends them to Carol so she can feel important.
- Bobby and Peter have a mud fight and go to Carol to complain instead of Alice.
- Greg asks Carol for help with his math (yeah, right) instead of Alice.
- The delivery man Mr. Stokey (played by Fred Pinkard) brings a big package to the door. (Big package…. tee hee.) Alice claims it’s the big telescope (or blow-up doll) she helped them mail away for. Instead of sharing the joy with Alice, the boys run right upstairs to show it to Carol.
Alice feels like she isn’t needed anymore since Carol is now part of the family, so she tells Mike and Carol that her aunt in Seattle has an ailment and how she needs to be with her. Alice is a terrible liar. Cut to the kids who are in Alice’s room looking awfully sad while they watch her pack. After Greg reminds Peter that Alice has to go to Seattle, stupid Cindy says, “Do you like Attle better than us?” Greg explains to her that Seattle is a place just like Mississippi. Cindy says, “Misses who?” Cute stuff.
Jan and Marcia overhear Alice talking to Myrtle on the phone saying how she’s leaving because she’s not needed anymore. I wonder if this is Alice’s sister, Myrtle. One can only wonder.
The Brady clan all gather in Mike and Carol’s bedroom for “Operation Alice”. What a bunch of schemers! I believe hilarity is about to ensue. Here’s how the secret plan plays out:
- Carol & Mike are going to a formal affair, but Carol tells Alice she can fix dinner before she leaves.
- Marcia needs a ride to her club meeting and she’s supposed to bring the cake.
- Mike can’t find his tuxedo. Why is he so helpless?
- Peter runs in screaming saying that Tiger ran away again. Who cares? Didn’t Tiger already get hit by a car in real life?
- Greg is over at Gordy’s and needs a ride home.
- Bobby and Cindy are fighting over checkers.
- Peter decides to fix his own meal.
- Mike can’t find his black tie. Pathetic man child.
- Greg calls and asks where his ride is.
- Jan runs in and asks how Marcia is getting home.
- Mike comes down the stairs in his black tuxedo and looks devastatingly handsome (someone must have dressed him). Carol, on the other hand, looks like a playboy bunny. Or a big cotton ball. Peter and Bobby are at it again with the mud. They run in and plaster mud all over Mike and his tuxedo. Oh no! The only thing Mike says is “Oh, brother.” Yeah, that’s real life.
Alice realizes early on that it’s all an act and decides to stay. The show closes with Mike and Carol giving Alice a ton of things to do. They all fake laugh about it and the show ends. Yay.
Check back in a few weeks for episode number five. I know you’re all very excited! Have a very Brady day!